I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
