Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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