I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
