She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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