We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
