A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
