hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize