i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
