yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
