everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
