Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've blown a few things in my day
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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