one might say we're banned from that church
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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