your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
