I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
