I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize