walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My balls are so social today.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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