using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
