you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize