dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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