i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
...so i touched it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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