i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
