ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
