He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
