My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
