i think i have two assholes
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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