Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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