and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize