scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
