I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
