Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
