I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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