love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
