Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
