Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
