well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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