Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
