it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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