so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
