I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
