I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
