that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
