at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize