it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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