Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize