you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
