i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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