I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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