i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
