Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
