A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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