I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
