just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
