I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
