i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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