Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
