i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
