lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
