Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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