Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
