drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
