Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
