Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
