if you like me you must not know who I am
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
