She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
organizing the empties. That sober.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
